What happened?
When I was 25 my fiance-now-husband got a job at a startup in Florida. He took the work because there were lots of promises from the founder, a good friend leading the team, good pay and the draw of sunny beaches.
I wanted to stay in Brooklyn. I had a job I liked and I rented an apartment in the same brownstone with one of my best friends.
Over the next year I took a flight once a month to West Palm Beach for a visit. For reasons I can’t explain, I developed a fear of flying. I would tear up on takeoff and on descent. I would think wild thoughts about the worst. I wondered if I needed a lapdog to hold. Glasses of wine didn’t help.
I eventually moved to Florida. It’s a beautiful place and definitely different from the Northeast. I worked as a software engineer and felt a lot of stress most days, mostly related to workplace politics and deadlines. One day after work my friend asked if I’d join him for some yoga at a place he liked. I only joined him 4 or 5 times, but I really loved that yoga studio and the big windows that had palm trees waving outside and clean cheerful fabrics decorating the room. I’ve been to other studios and I’ve done the occasional video at home, but this one studio in Florida is my happy place for yoga.
What I do when I Fly
I usually don’t consume coffee or alcohol while flying.
I do like a strong cup of black tea.
Take-off meditation
I think about how powerful the engines are on the airplane.
I’ve experienced the power of gravity—jumping off the high dive, falling off my bike at high speed, roller coasters. The engines on the airplane are powerful enough to break through that force of gravity. That’s amazing.
I don’t grip the sides of the seat because they are not grounded to anything; they are floating just like I am above the earth.
Sometimes I close my eyes, but usually look out the window or read a book. Yeah, sometimes I read the same paragraph 2 or 3 times but whatever.
Most importantly, if I start feeling the panic soaking in as the squeaks and thumps increase with the angle of incline, I contemplate how I would feel if the plane taking off from the ground was saving my life. The same machine using the same rules of physics. I think about the decision I made to save time. Also, how’s the pilot doing? A nice calm pilot (bonus points if funny!) is the best.
My in-flight meditation
I primarily use this mental exercise in turbulence. Light or heavy, it doesn’t matter.
Now, when an airplane is flying it has its wings out.
I think about myself in tree pose with my arms extended out.
On land, when I slowly bring myself into tree pose, there’s an initial disruption in my balance as I shift from having my weight on two feet to just one. Sometimes I lose my balance and immediately put the foot I was trying to bring up back down again. I then try to concentrate more and slowly have one foot rest against my inner knee.
While in the air, if there’s turbulence there’s something about imagining myself in this yoga pose, arms stretched out as the wings of the airplane that relaxes me. I feel like it connects me and the root of my body extends to the earth.
Remember, I do this in my head. I’m not stretching my arms out on either side. :)
Landing
By this point I’m excited to get off the plane and stretch my legs.
I hope this helps
I do not actively practice yoga. Maybe I will again someday. What stayed with me all these years and benefited me the most are the memories of calm and balance that I had during a few sessions I had over a decade ago.
Maybe you’ll discover your own ways of dealing with your own fears. It took me a few years to get to this point. Good luck.