Gathering Good Relationships
From neighbors to family to friends, be comfortable in things not being perfect.
Last week I invited lady “M” over to my house - a super cool educator, master gardener and mother that I’ve known for a few years now via little league to specifically chat about our gardens.
My house is a small 1926 craftsman without a dining room and no idea what an open concept living area could possibly mean. But as my Mom puts it, it “feels cheerful” and “has good vibes” especially when sunny. A small but functional counter-height table is the only way to comfortably eat in the kitchen and most gatherings are saved for the summer when the deck is open.
I was initially invited over to M’s house to brainstorm a bit on how to fill out an empty garage wall, but we quickly moved into a rapid discussion on everything from neighbors to raising kids. She has an amazing array of potted blueberries, garlic, herbs and all kinds of meandering paths filled with flowers. M’s giant kitchen has towering cabinets in the most perfect shade of muted but cheerful blue and a bright yellow accent door. A table with seating for anywhere from 8-12 people sits in the middle.
M suggested that I read The Art of Gathering. It’s still on my list but sounds exactly like the type of text I want in my life to help build the kind of community I want. A long time ago —maybe 10 years ago!— I organized a little gathering of women on my street for a casual monthly meet and greet at a small local restaurant. One lady moved to Germany. I moved away, I came back during Covid. I felt like things had changed. My friend and neighbor moved away to Switzerland. I felt like my ability to help gather people was destroyed.
But two nights ago the friend from Switzerland came back for a night. It felt so good to all be together again for just 2 hours.
Short, ephemeral, cyclical. So many analogies to plants, insects and seasons with people in our lives. The desire to hold on is there, but the only way is to be loose and allow people like planets to spin and move in their orbits to drift back based on personal gravities and time.
From a text I sent Mike last week:
I am happiest gardening and taking care of all of you.
I don’t need lots of vacations or fancy things.
Just good food, family, friends, some sunshine and a little wine.